The End of the World
What exactly is the end of the world? The Norse thought it was a war called Ragnarok in which many of their most important gods were destroyed. In 2012, conspiracy theorists and gullible internet users were on about a made-up planet called Nibiru on course to hit the earth. In greek mythology, the end of the world-- or at least the huamn race-- has happened several times already, with the people of the gold, silver, brass, and iron ages having all died eventually. It's safe to say that almost every culture has a story about how the world will end, but the truth is far less dramatic.
About every 4.55 billion years, the forces of Death destroy and then rebuild the earth. The forces of Heaven and Hell take turns; this rotation it's Hell, and they plan on using fire and some weapons of mass destruction. Below are the plans for this Doomsday and the next.
Hell (Current Rotation)
- Launch all nuclear weapons
- Set fire to as many monuments as possible. Violently destroy the rest any way possible
- Fill the ocean with debris until you can walk on the water
- Go to every capital and burn the government buildings
- Kill any animals in sight
- Draw mustaches on all the statues and then decapitate them
- Destroy all religious centers
- Trigger all the volcanoes
- Whip up some natural disasters (tsunamis, hurricanes, tornadoes, etc)
- Have the plague demons turn the air toxic
- Bring in an enormous asteroid to finish the job
Heaven (Next Rotation)
- Adopt any desired animals
- Set up a rainbow over every city
- Find all religious works of art/literature and take them to Heaven for display
- Systematically destroy all big monuments as dramatically as possible
- Send a virus into the internet to destroy it completely
- Wire all electronics to zap any living things left
- Trigger every volcano simultaneously
- Blow up any remaining mountains
- Set fire to every forest
- Pour all oil and plastic into the oceans
- Melt down all metal and coat the earth with the stuff
- Paint the metal shell into a rainbow-colored masterpiece
- Populate it with unicorn robots
- Blow it up. The whole planet. Even the unicorns.
- Launch all nuclear weapons
- Set fire to as many monuments as possible. Violently destroy the rest any way possible
- Fill the ocean with debris until you can walk on the water
- Go to every capital and burn the government buildings
- Kill any animals in sight
- Draw mustaches on all the statues and then decapitate them
- Destroy all religious centers
- Trigger all the volcanoes
- Whip up some natural disasters (tsunamis, hurricanes, tornadoes, etc)
- Have the plague demons turn the air toxic
- Bring in an enormous asteroid to finish the job
- Adopt any desired animals
- Set up a rainbow over every city
- Find all religious works of art/literature and take them to Heaven for display
- Systematically destroy all big monuments as dramatically as possible
- Send a virus into the internet to destroy it completely
- Wire all electronics to zap any living things left
- Trigger every volcano simultaneously
- Blow up any remaining mountains
- Set fire to every forest
- Pour all oil and plastic into the oceans
- Melt down all metal and coat the earth with the stuff
- Paint the metal shell into a rainbow-colored masterpiece
- Populate it with unicorn robots
- Blow it up. The whole planet. Even the unicorns.
