Welcome to the End of the World!
Don't worry, the Grim Reaper has a gift basket for you!
The Apocalypse (aka Armaggedon, Doomsday, and Ragnarok) has been scheduled to take place this friday at 7:06pm. Charon's last ferry to the Pearly Gates leaves promptly at 6pm, so don't be late! Once you've reached the Pearly Gates, please group together with your family. Once you have, find the rest of the people from your city and then merge that group with your country. When you leave for Hell or Heaven, please take all of your luggage with you. We are pleased to inform you that EVERYONE is invited. However, Death Sorting will be an individual assessment, and results will be based on your actions in life. No attention will be paid to variables such as sexuality, gender, religion, race, etc. Take no notice of the forces of evil destroying the earth below you as you exit the Judgement room.
When the End begins, we will shut down our reincarnation program until the world is reborn. Once that's happened, the program will be revived and will work it's way down the tiers of death, from Elysium to Asphodel and then the Minor Fields of Punishment.
The Pearly Gates